Come into my parlor...
(Background)
I was married and had two kids, then got a well-deserved divorce, and have since married again. My wife and I decided to have a baby...
(What happened)
Mrs. Wakanuki and I wanted to get youngest Wakanuki baptized. Apparently, John the Baptist put Jesus and the others through some sort of ordeal to get this done. Well, the church has a lot of rules on this sort of thing. The church we tried to get this celebration taken care of wouldn't do so. But, one of the priests from the church said he would do so; but at a different church.
(Come into my parlor)
My extended family all met us at the church to witness the Baptism performed...
That's when it started. We were placed in the front row of the chapel (small church), with our family close by. Father Pat told us what we need to do and when.
What he didn't say, was YOU SHOULD RUN WHILE YOU CAN (with a sinister smile).
It wasn't long into the mass when it started...
Father Pat wasn't talking about 'life' and 'new beginning', nor GOD. Instead he spoke of the 'D' word. That's right DIVORCE.
Father Pat: "If you get a divorce and remarry, then YOU ARE AN ADULTERER!"
Holy crap, where did that come from ?
Father Pat: "If your wife got a divorce from her husband and remarries, then SHE IS AN ADULTERER!"
Holy crap, where is this going? Aren't we here for a Baptism???
Father Pat: blah blah SINNER blah blah ADULTERER blah blah CHILD.
I am dying. I don't think it was a coincidence that he chose THIS to speak of. Things are running through my mind:
(Maybe we should go now).
(Maybe, I should start yelling at him).
(Maybe, I should start ranting about all the sick priests forgiven by the church).
(Maybe this sucks).
Instead, I turned the other cheek.
We eventually got through the lamb basting, and the Baptism.
posted by Wakanuki at 1:19 PM
4 Comments:
You know what your mistake was? You didn't give him enough money upfront. Catholic priests will do anything if you pay them enough. I know. I grew up Catholic.
I have to say.....As I was sitting in the church I was thinking...."I wonder if they wrote the message"
I commented on this post yesterday. Where'd it go?
I think the Catholic church intercepted my comment and deleted it.
They're crafty like that.
I think it's sad that the church preaches peace and love yet they are the first to point the holier than thou finger. I grew up in Catholic churches most of my life and there's one thing I never understood-why they think they can do that stuff?
You shoulda told 'em you volunteered for Bingo night and they probably would have let ya go.
Oh my... According to Father Pat, I, too, am an adulterer. I think everyone should be -- everything's better the 2nd time around! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home